Letting You Go
by AnatomyOfGreys1
Summary: A ONE SHOT, based off the 11x16 Calzona Sneak. Arizona realizes Callie is moving on. Will Arizona stand and fight for what she wants or will she step back and let Callie go?


**Prompt: Based on the 1116 Calzona sneak. Arizona realizes Callie is moving on.**

** I couldn't get this out of my head today, so I had to write it down. I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you guys think!**

* * *

**_Letting You Go_**

Walking down the hall, all Arizona wanted was to just grab a quick bite to go for her and Sofia before she headed out of the hospital. She didn't want to go home to Karev's and cook nor did she want some greasy takeout food for them. So she was headed to the cafeteria grab them some food before she went home to the so called frat house she currently lived in. Walking up to the double doors, her eyes landed on a couple intimately kissing in the hall way, but what really caught her eye was the brunette. The very intimately familiar brunette, locking lips with some blonde in the hallway. She tried to move, to at least advert her eyes, but she was frozen in place. Left wishing it was her that Callie was kissing in that way.

Smiling, Callie watched Heather walk away before turning back around. Her eyes immediately landing on the set of blue she is very familiar with. The same eyes that belonged to the one blonde that would forever have a special place in her heart. Her smile instantly fading when she saw the look of sadness on Arizona's face. Before she knew it, her ex looked away before disappearing the same way she had came. "Arizona." Callie whispered, quickly running after the fast moving blonde, but as soon as she busted through the double doors her pager sounded through the air again. "Damn it."

* * *

It hurt so bad seeing the blonde kiss her ex, just about as much as calling Callie her ex hurt. She had no right to be mad or upset even. Callie wasn't hers anymore, she already made that clear months ago. Arizona had always held out hope for them to figure their shit out. And when she saw the brunette kiss the stranger, she knew instantly how Callie felt when she found out she cheated on her with Lauren.

Arizona's heart ached at the realization that there would never be anything more with Callie. She forgot all about the dinner she was headed to the cafeteria to grab, instead she made a b-line for the daycare to pick Sofia up. Her ex wife had asked if she could keep Sofia for the night even though it wasn't her day and Arizona had happily agreed. She loved and cherished her time with her daughter, it was the closest thing to having Callie back again so she would take all she could get.

"Mama!" Sofia called as soon as Arizona walked through the daycare door.

"Hey baby." She caught her breath and put on her best smile for her daughter.

"Mommy said I go home wif you to Awex's." She said, running up to her mother.

"That's right." Arizona knelt down to her daughter. "Mommy's busy tonight, so it's you and me tonight kiddo. How's mac and cheese sound for dinner?"

"Yummy."

"I thought so too." Arizona laughed, trying to take her mind off of what she just witnessed. Mother and daughter time was always the best medicine for her as of late. "Hey listen, you want to sleep in Mama's bed? She could really go for your cuddles tonight."

"Mac and cheese and cuddles? Yessss. Best night evea, Mama." She said hugging her mother around the neck.

"Best night ever." She agreed with a small laugh at her daughters excitement. "Go get your backpack and we'll head on home, okay?" She said, letting her daughter go. She just wanted to hurry and get out of the hospital before the brunette had a chance to run into them.

* * *

Callie had been pulled into a three hour surgery after making it to the hospital. She couldn't take her mind off of that kiss she had with Heather. Not because it was great, it was nice, but not great. But she couldn't stop thinking about it because Arizona had seen it. She didn't feel guilty about it because they weren't a couple any more, but she felt bad that Arizona had to whiteness it. She felt the need to talk to Arizona about what she had saw, so that's why she found herself at 11 p.m. knocking on the front door of Karev's house. She knew that Arizona and Sofia were the only ones home because Wilson had been in surgery with her and still had an all nighter to finish along with Alex.

Arizona had put her daughter to bed two hours prior. She had been sitting on the couch since then, clutching her favorite bottle of wine. For some reason she couldn't bring herself to drink it. It made her think too much about Callie. Back to the nights when they were dating, spending long nights sipping wine and eating cold pizza after rounds of love making in their bed. Also the night they stayed up late, drinking wine and trying to choose a sperm donor for their next child.

Hearing a knock at the door, Arizona let out a long sigh. For some reason, she knew that Callie was going to stop by if she made it out of the hospital before it was too late.

"Hi." Callie said after Arizona answered the door.

"Hey." The blonde said, sticking her hand in her pants pocket.

"Can we talk?"

"Yeah." She stepped back so Callie could enter. "Sofia's asleep." She stated.

"I figured as much. Do you mind if I go give her a goodnight kiss?"

"No, go right ahead." Arizona said, as she went back and sat down on the couch and waited for Callie.

Mere minutes later, Callie was coming back downstairs and sitting down in the chair in front of the couch. "You know, having her sleep in the bed with you is not good for either of us." She smiled, trying to make the air light around them.

"I know." Arizona nodded. "I just need her there tonight." She said, holding onto the bottle again. "Would you like a drink?"

"No." Callie held up her hand. "Thanks though."

"Yep."

"Arizona." She sighed. "I'm sorry for wh.."

"No. Don't apologize. We're not together. You don't have to explain yourself to me, you shouldn't feel bad for trying to move on."

"I didn't feel bad for trying to pick up the pieces of what's left of my life, but I feel bad that you had to see that."

"We both knew it would happen eventually, whether it was tonight or four more months from now." Arizona said, staring a hole into the wall behind the brunette. She felt like if she looked at Callie right now she would break down and beg her to take her back and that wouldn't be good for any of them.

"This isn't what I want Arizona. I don't want to be sitting here with you, talking about seeing other people. But it's what I need. It's what we both need."

"I know." She nodded. '_Damn reality.' _She thought to herself. "I love you, Callie." She admitted. She needed to get so much off her chest and she knew it was now or never. "And if these four to five months apart taught me anything, it showed me that you we're it for me. You were my world. You and Sofia." She paused. "Maybe it was my fault for suffocating you as you said before. I was so scared of losing you again after we got back together, that maybe I didn't try hard enough to fix what I messed up."

"There was two of us in the relationship Arizona. We both are at fault for what happened to us." It wasn't just Arizona, Callie knew she had a big part in the breakup too."

"No." The blonde shook her head. "It was my fault. I was the one that did this." She motioned between them. "I'm sitting here on Karev's couch while our daughter is sleeping upstairs in my bed. All because of what I did. You didn't do this Callie. I did."

"That's not true, Arizona. I had a hand in it too. Maybe I pushed you too hard and you resented me for it. I don't know." She said, resting her elbows on her knees. "I was just trying to find you again and not the shell of a person you were after the crash."

"I had so much anger after the crash." Arizona opened up to her. "Not just with you, but with everything and everyone. Those first few weeks at home, I would just lay in that hospital bed and cry when you were at work. I thought, why me? Why did Mark and Lexie have to die and I had to live like this? Why did any of this have to happen to us? There was so many questions I had that I didn't have answers for." She said, wiping the tear away that formed in her eye. She hated talking about the crash. "There were many times I wished I would have died along with them. Then I hated myself for wishing that because I would think about you and Sofia.. and how heartbroken you both would be if I had died also."

Callie couldn't help but let the tears fall as she heard Arizona speak of that difficult time she had after the plane crash. The blonde never talked about it and hearing her open up about it now, crushed her. "I wouldn't have survived if you had died in that crash, Arizona. I wouldn't have made it, not even for Sofia."

Nodding, she knew that she would have died right along with Callie too if the roles had been reversed. "I was such a happy person before all this and now look. The only thing it did to me was take my leg and turn me into a cheater." She finally looked at Callie sadly. "I've learned to live without my leg. When I feel bad or something, I look down and see that I was stronger then what tried to hurt me."

"You're such a strong person Arizona. I wish you could see that."

"I do. Finally." She lightly laughed. "But no matter how strong I see myself now, I will always see a cheater when I look in the mirror. I'll always be known as someone who cheated on her wife. Maybe not by my friends or family, but in my head. I'll always be a cheater. And that's no ones fault but my own. So even though it kills me, I can't fault you for trying to move on."

"Why though? Why did you do it? Was I not enough for you?" Callie asked. They were finally talking without arguing or blaming each other. They were trying to finally get their lives back on the right track and in doing that, they were finally communicating how they should have when they were together. So she asked the two questions that have plagued her since the infinity.

"I didn't sleep with someone else because I didn't love you or you weren't enough... because you were. If anything you were maybe too good for me. I question many times if I was enough for you. I felt inadequate. You're gorgeous and beautiful and I wondered how you could you still love me like this?"

"I never saw you as anything less then the woman I marred." Callie truthfully stated. "I didn't love you because you had two legs and two arms. I married you because of what's inside. You're looks never mattered to me Arizona."

"I know that now." She whispered. "I didn't set out to hurt you, Callie. I swear I didn't, that was never my intention even though that's exactly what I did. When I met Lauren, she flirted and it was nice to be seen as attractive and sexy to someone who only knew the me with one leg. I knew that was enough for her in that one moment." She looked back up to her, seeing the tears running down the brunettes cheeks. "I'm not telling you this to hurt you again. I'm just trying to tell you how I felt."

"I know. It's something I've been wanting to hear for over a year now. I just wish you could have told me when it mattered."

"Me too. I guess we live and we learn, huh?" The blonde said, wiping her eyes. "When Herman woke up from her surgery a few weeks ago, she made me realize the whole point of it all. I survived, Callie. I wished I realized it when it counted, but I do now. I got to live to see another day. I get to see our daughter start school, to see her grow up and graduate. I'll get to see the beautiful woman she'll become. One day, see her get married and have kids of her own."

They sat there for a few minutes in silence as the both thought of what to say next. "There has never been a question of my love for you, Arizona. Even after you cheated." Callie felt like the blonde needed to know how she felt. "I'll love you forever. But somewhere down the line we both lost our way. I have to find my way back now and I can't do that with you. I wish I could, but I can't."

"I know that. You need to find what makes you happy again. And as bad as I wish that was me, I know it's not. At least not right now." Arizona said, leaning back in her seat. "Those five years we were together may have been some of my toughest, but I will always be able to look back and say those were the best years of my life." She said, picking at the label on the bottle that she still clutched. "I had a great love.. I gained a daughter. Things I never dreamed I would have."

"Me too." Callie agreed. "I'm sorry, Arizona." She said, standing from the chair. She had had enough talking for one night. Finally hearing everything she had wished the blonde would have said a year ago, she just needed to leave and get her thoughts together.

"I am too, Callie. For everything that's happened."

"Yeah." She said. "I uhh.. need to go, it's pretty late and I have an early day tomorrow." She pointed to the door.

"Yeah." Arizona said, standing from the couch. "Me too, I'm going to visit Nichole at the blind institute tomorrow after I drop Sof off at day care, so I need to get to bed myself."

"I hope she's doing well."

"She said she is, I guess I'll see for myself tomorrow." She smiled and walked Callie to the door.

"Yeah, tell Sof that I love her and I'll pick her up tomorrow after preschool." Callie said walking out the door, her mind going a hundred miles a minute from one of the deepest conversations they have ever had.

"I will."

"Goodnight, Arizona."

"Goodnight." Arizona said, shutting the door when Callie turned to leave down the walk. "Callie?" She said, opening the door again. Waiting for the brunette to turn back to her. "I want you to know, I you so much it hurts. But as much as I love you, it's just not enough for you. It's just like you said in the therapists office...I want so much for you too, Calliope. I want you to be happy. And if that means setting you free and losing all chance at a reconciliation. I'll do it. I love you so much that I'm letting you go." Trying to give the brunette some more closure for her to move on. "But I want you to know, I'll never stop hoping that one day we'll both get our shit together and realize what's right in front of us."

Arizona was saying all the right things that Callie had wanted her to say for so long. She knew she had to get out of there to have some time to think and process what all they had admitted to each other. Could there be a chance that there was still hope for them after all? She didn't know, but she knew no matter what their future held, Arizona would always be the one for her too. Swallowing the lump that formed in her throat, Callie only could nod.

"I'm holding true to Gribran Khalil Gribran famous quote he wrote in his book 'The Prophet'." Arizona said, closing the door and locking it.

Callie stood there for a few moments trying to think of the book, but it wasn't coming to her. Climbing in her car, she pulled out her iPhone and googled the famous quote.

_"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were."_


End file.
